Choose Your Life Monday is an invitation to name what pattern you will lovingly notice this week and to do so in community. Of course, you can do it any day you want- you don’t have to start on Monday. Join in when and whenever suits you.
Last week I wrote about being a Christmas kitchen idiot and how burning the walnuts triggered a big story of “I can’t do anything right, why am I such a loser?” I’m happy I was so scathingly honest because:
It helped you to be more lovingly expansive with yourself or as Julie said “PS - Scathingly honestItidbits ROCK!”
and
Because I received this email from Rebecca which made me laugh so loud I spit my tea across the room.
I was reading your latest about burning the nuts and feeling inadequate… and all I can think is: you have done so much for so many, you have changed their lives…and you are upset about burnt nuts? [this is where I blushed at my own scathing honesty]
Heck, I am planning to toast walnuts completely smoking black in your honor! I’ll call it the annual “Jen Louden Holiday Kitchen Fire.” [this is where the tea spitting occurred]
You were meant to do something else in this life. And it seems to me you are doing that which you are meant to. I’m sorry the nuts tweeked your sense of self, but in the grand scheme…? [this is where I took a big swallow of tea and felt both sheepish and blessed]I say this because of how much you have helped me with your book, The Life Organizer - it has given me a new way to see myself, new language to think thoughts in. It is a source of inspiration, strength, comfort…and joy. [this is where I did a little dance around the room and sang one of my off tune nonsense happy songs in joy for my book helping] [this is also where I said, yes outloud, ‘Damn, that is a good book.]
On your tombstone, it will not say, “She couldn’t toast walnuts.” It will say something to the effect, “Beloved Jennifer was loved far and wide by many whom she never met…but they are her friends and love her as if she were family.” [this is where I got tears in my eyes and wondered at the power of words to connect us all]
Sincerely, One Grateful Reader
I hesitated to share this email because I thought it might seem a little self-congratulatory as in “Does Jen think her poop doesn’t stink?” or somebody might think, “Well, isn’t it good for her that she has her purpose all figured out, that only makes me feel worse because I don’t” (none of you are petty enough to have these thoughts so I’ll have them for you) but I decided to because…
I felt so busted and in such a good way
To my ears, Rebecca is saying, to me and you,
Hey, stop focusng in what you don’t do well and start paying attention to what you can’t help but do, your natural genuis. What the heck do you care about X when you can do Y and Z and plenty of A, F, and L?”
To my ears, Rebecca is the voice of God saying,
I only want you to be you. If you spent more time being you, you sure would have more fun. Either way, I love you.”
So, I propose, in Rebecca’s honor, that we each perform our own verison of the Jen Louden Holiday Kitchen Fire.
- What are you ready to acknowledge is not your thing, not your gift, not your bailiwick, not your talent, not your forte, not your genius, at least in this life time?
- What are you ready to stop trying or maybe you stopped trying a long time ago but you still wish you could?
- What would, if you let go of it, let you have more brain space and greater heart energy for your natural can’t-help-but-do-it genuis?
- What will be in your kitchen fire?
My “I will not be this in this life time” list is:
I will not be cook - and I will have lots of kitchen fires
I will not be a good speller - and this blog will have lots of typos
I will not do much of anything neatly - and I will continue to make art and wrap presents
I will not be a linear thinker - and I will still get my point across
I will not have a clean car, a tidy garden, or stain free clothes- and my sister will
I will not love parties where I don’t know people - and I won’t go if I don’t want to
I will not be calm, cool and quiet - and it will get worse as I get more deaf!
Wow, this feels so good, you’ve got to try it. I could go on and on, and I don’t want to write too much because I want to be sure I’m really ready to not want these things anymore, that I’m really ready to say, “Not this time around.”
So this week, I am proposing that you lovingly explore the idea of making an “I will never” list.
Forget putting down things you are already over - who cares about those?
Instead, list the things that you keep wishing you could do or ways you could be even though you know it’s not you.
Write down what you still itch about, even though you know, if Rebecca wrote you an email, she’d say,
Oh come on. Look over here. Here is your genius, here is where you want to focus. Stop with that stuff, leave it alone and get on with ______!!!”
I can’t wait to read yours!
Join me! Name what you will put in your kitchen fire in the comment section. I can’t wait to read what you will burn. Burn baby burn, it’s the not no more inferno.













